Yes I did copy it from the title of a film and one that I haven't watched but have always wanted to. However, the premise of the film is death and this is a subject I'm never too keen to watch or spend time dwelling on. In context of The Oddies, it's taken me quite a while to get around to writing this post. Not because I haven't been able to find the words but that this post is going to be negative, and a rant, but hopefully some therapy too.
To say that the last 4/5 weeks has been stressful would be lacking in colour. The truth of the matter is, the last few weeks have been horrendous and sadly on so many different fronts. StoolGate has now turned into out and out war with some of the locals, reaching the point that they're now boycotting the pub and drinking elsewhere. We've been accused of stealing charity money - yes actual theft of money we've been raising in the pub since before Christmas. We are still getting jabs and digs about the paintwork and I've also found out that a local has had a bet going since last year that I wouldn't make it to Easter, and that Lee and I wouldn't last as a couple. There's probably more that's happened but I feel that's enough to relive this morning.
The culmination of the above saga has meant Lee and I have been at an all time low with ourselves and with each other and I think in the last few weeks we've managed a handful of days where we're not ripping each other apart. And believe me, I give as good as I get.
Its made me quite reflective as well. This was a massive change for me, life altering. Perhaps stupid, naive, short sighted - whichever adjective you would choose to use but it has been one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. What has pained me is that I have lost things along the way, the hardest being some of the friendships. I knew how busy I'd be working here and to say that hours are unsociable would be putting in mildly. I was explaining to a friend last week, I have until midday off work Mon to Fri but if my friends all work in an office then I can't exactly call up and have a chat. Evenings are either working or spending time with the dogs, or trying to get some food into us, much the same as the weekends.
I always knew this would be the life, but perhaps I had underestimated people's tolerance to my absence. Its been hard, tears have been shed and in some cases I'm still kind of baffled about how things have come about. I'd rather be told I fucked up, than some of the blanking and ignoring I've had. But, each to their own. I don't hold it against anyone as it is sometimes the way life goes. I just hope that people do stick around for us, as much as I do try to stick around for them.
As for The Oddies, well it's now common knowledge through Wimborne Whispers that Lee and I have handed in our notice to Hall & Woodhouse - we've been told that it is officially 6 months but we've expressed the desire to leave as quickly as possible so there are some options we're looking at to get that done. The taste in our mouths is too bitter now, too much water has gone under the bridge and when you've had the love of something ripped away from you, it is impossible to get it back.
I do have to say a massive thanks, to the people who have stuck by me in my move here, have stuck by us during some difficult times and who have really shone through as friends - I do hope you all know who you are and I don't think we'd have gotten through without you all 💜
BUT - don't despair my lovely people - there's exciting news afoot and another blog coming soon so watch this space.... never a dull moment and always something to be doing (but no, I'm not pregnant.....)