I've always thought of my life as a book, and when I look back on the phases of my life I do see them as chapters and soon I'll be reaching the end of one chapter, and happily turning the page to a new one. But let me take a step back, there's a lot to catch up on....
I started writing these blogs when I took over the Oddies. A way to update people and a way to keep a history of a year of my life but I haven't written a blog since we took the Rope & Anchor over, for a variety of reasons. The Oddies was something I did for me and something I'd never done before but the Rope was something Lee and I did together, which felt different. It has also been SOOOOO much harder. Harder than we thought or planned and perhaps with an element of naivety. So, 5 months in and we're done - fully done from an emotional, physical, mental and financial perspective. We can both see the absolute potential with this pub but in all reality we do not have the desire to continue to push money into something that will take a few years to actually turn into what it can be so we've spent the last weeks trying to decide what to do.
I've posted about the long days, the hours spent and then energy it takes so I won't relive that again but we did come to the easy conclusion that we cannot continue to live to work, we need to start living. And whilst Lee has done an amazing job in the kitchen, and has become an amazing chef, it has been so tough on him (not least of all because of vegans / gluten free / dairy free and every other intolerance free people as in the kitchen it is impossible to cater for everyone) but because in the last week the kitchen has hit an all time 45 degree heat, and it is too much.
If you'd asked me 3 or 4 months ago I'd have said I'm not going back to an office ever again but that is now not the case. Sometimes you have to miss something to realise you are probably meant to be doing it, and that's what I've realised. The year off for me was just what I needed, but it hasn't exactly been a year off but it is now time I hang up my pub hat and go back to the corporate world.
In the last year I've been a business owner, a publican, a bar maid, a wench (thanks Sam) as well as a "stupid fucking bitch".... I've been proud of what I've done. In the last month I've also become a wife, a stepmom to 3 amazing grown children and a step nan to some amazing grandkids. That is my biggest achievement of my life, and I'm grateful to Lee, Dom, Grace & Pheobe for their acceptance of me.
So now the move, I've been offered an amazing job at Vodafone and the opportunity for Lee and I to have a quiet and "normal" life where we get to enjoy our time with the dogs and not be at everyone's beck and call. Something that has definitely taken it out of us.
I don't know what the future holds today, I don't know where we'll be living or by when but I do know that the future is right there, ours for the taking and god damn are we gonna take it!
I've met some amazing people, made some amazing friends, lost some friends along the way and come to realise all these things happen for a reason. I hope some changed friendships can be rebuilt, but it probably won't be all of them. And that has to be ok. Sometimes lives part ways and you just have to hang on to the good memories and realise sometimes it might be better the way it ends up.
As for now, we're preparing for a Sunday roast, and then we're heading off for a night away for some house hunting tomorrow. I may not publish this today, but when I do publish it I hope that people will understand the decisions we've made, for the good of us and our lives. I hope that for the new friendships made, that they continue to be strong.
This will be my last blog, I hope that there's been some entertainment, some honesty and some enjoyment from them. Its been a harder journey than I anticipated but I can honestly say I come away with no regrets, no remorse (just a little lighter in the bank account!)
Love Ruthie x